I do not post to this blog very often. Typically I keep my posts to something programming related. It could be anywhere from a project or application I have worked on, or just random bits of news. Today, however, I feel like sharing a bit about my faith, and about God. Again, it is interesting, because not only is this something I do not normally post about, but I do not really post anymore. Perhaps now is a good time to change that.
God Works In Mysterious Ways
How many times have you heard that phrase? Or, perhaps, even used it yourself? I wonder how many people who use this phrase actually believe it, instead of using it because it has become a tad cliché. But you know what? It is okay if it has become cliché, as it does not make the statement any less true. God is an abundantly loving, merciful, graceful, forgiving and perfect God. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than are ways. In that sense, yes! God does work in mysterious ways.
My faith has been a rocky road, and I would wager that would describe the journey for most people. For me, it began when I was just a child, when I started attending church at the age of eight. It did not take long for me to become saved and baptized. Alas, it was not until 20 years later that I realized I had not become saved based on the call from God. I was a kid who wanted to be a part of whatever was going on, not wanting to be left out. The folks going up at each service seemed happy and I wanted that for myself. My heart was not truly in it. I never truly gave my heart or my life to God.
When it began
I stopped attending church at the age of 13, out of the blue. There was no rhyme or reason for me to stop pursuing God; but I did, and I did so for 21 years. I spent those years ignoring God and trying to run and hide from Him. In 2007 when my mother was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer, I was still running. But the funny thing is, even while trying to run and hide myself from God, I would still at times pray to Him.
I was being selfish because I could not stand the thought of losing my mother. When my mother passed away in 2013, I had the audacity to get angry at God and to question Him. I was angry that He was letting my mother die; angry that He was ignoring my prayers. Most of all, I was angry that He was telling me no.
Within the last year I have come to realize one thing. Who am I to question God? What right do I have to be angry? I admit, these can be hard questions to answer. It was difficult, but I had to dig deep down and discover the answer. What is the answer? The answer is: I have no right to be angry at God. I have no right to question Him, no one does.
God sees and knows things we cannot possibly comprehend. I have come to a point in my faith where I fully trust in God. A point where I given my life, heart and soul to Him. It was not easy doing so, but the most important thing I have had to remind myself of is that God always answers our prayers, it just may not be the answer we were wanting. I know one thing, though; it is the answer we would ask for, if we could know or see everything He can.
What’s your point?
I understand this may all seem like a bunch of rambling. That is true to a certain extent. The main thing I want to get through to anyone who may stumble upon this post is this:
No matter how far you have strayed from God, how broken you have become, or how hard you have tried to run and hide from Him… He will ALWAYS seek you. We do not find God. We do not find Jesus. He finds us. Let His spirit fill you and His love surround you. Give all of your pain, doubt, fear, anxiety and burdens to Him. You are His child and he will take that from you and walk with you, giving you mercy, grace, forgiveness and strength. I promise you this, nothing you have done can overcome the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. The truth and promises of His word makes that abundantly clear.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Stop running and hiding from Him. Because one day, it will be too late.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39
“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” – Romans 10:9-10